i am crawling inch by inch
below the magnificent sky above
towards the endless plain in front
beside me, people are running
they are taller than me,
they are bigger than me,
they held their head high up,
which of them will be the highest?

i am crawling inch by inch,
the time sweeps passed me
but they sweep passed the time
my present is recreating every future time
their future is recreating their present
which of us is ahead of another?

i am finally going to graduate!

i just wonder whether this mark will be an end of a journey or it is simply another beginning?
if there is anything at all that will ever be an ending before death itself?
but come to think about it, isnt death the mark before the beginning of another phase?

or maybe.. only our thoughts are never ending, and each mark that we make are simply the measurement of how far we ever carried those thoughts into action or the measurement of the impact of our thoughts to our life..never a beginning nor an end.
perhaps they were simply the terms we create just to give us an idea on how far we have gone from the moment we thought was our beginning (eg. embryo formation). or was that even the beginning of us??

whatever it is, i am just simply glad i am moving! maybe i am moving forward.. or perhaps i am going backward? which ever it is, at least i am moving! let the plan reveals itself in time as i am moving along.

well.. nothing much really.. just thought i would write something i encountered recently that almost made me gave up, but it was that exact point of time i found that there is much more i gained than i had lost and many more to gain even after i had lost. i guess the saying "kegagalan itu adalah kunci dari suatu keberhasilan" might be right to a certain extent afterall :D hahahaa (though i have not attain that success yet.. but what determine success anyway?)

well then i failed a subject.. an elective to be precise, sigh.. why did i even bother to do that subject? or maybe it was fate? hahaha.. anyway, i almost gave up then i come to my senses after hearing many voices of those people that cared so i went to beg! hahaha then i got another chance but the result of that chance isnt out yet but at least i had gotten another chance! :D hahaha

anyways then i realised what i had gained. many times i felt so insecure.. i will feel lonely even in the most crowded place, then i managed to find some really close friends whom i really grew attached to. But then, in a blink of an eye, they left because they had someplace to go though we still keep in touch.. but still i felt that a hole started to open inside me again. i still had some close friends around me who also care about me, but still a lost can never be replace with a gain - then i thought.

in the moment of my failure, i was reminded that there was something which i received a while back but was never taken away from me. in fact, it was something which grew stronger inside me and the more days i live the more i feel so blessed to have had such a blessing - my family. we may not be so close - not so great in communicating, but still i had felt love even in the silence! many of the unspoken words have always managed to reach my heart and i hope my unspoken words will do the same! (though i am learning hard to say the things my heart really ache to say).

also, now currently i feel so blessed that i may have gain more love from those people i start to really care about (not my family, but i feel so bless about my family too). i may have not said much and may not say a lot in the near future, but one thing for sure is that you guys have earned a spot in my heart :D i hope this is not the beautiful sunset but the beautiful and promising sunrise! :D

anywayz, in short i had not given up, i had not lost all things. in contrast, i am moving on and will keep moving on and i am sure there are many more things that i will gain that i will be thanking about. come to think about it, the greatest blessing of all is that the blessing you receive now is not the last but it is the one before many more ahead. i am very grateful to Him who have never and will never let me down, who have never and will never fail to reach the deepest place inside me- my bestfriend.