well.. nothing much really.. just thought i would write something i encountered recently that almost made me gave up, but it was that exact point of time i found that there is much more i gained than i had lost and many more to gain even after i had lost. i guess the saying "kegagalan itu adalah kunci dari suatu keberhasilan" might be right to a certain extent afterall :D hahahaa (though i have not attain that success yet.. but what determine success anyway?)

well then i failed a subject.. an elective to be precise, sigh.. why did i even bother to do that subject? or maybe it was fate? hahaha.. anyway, i almost gave up then i come to my senses after hearing many voices of those people that cared so i went to beg! hahaha then i got another chance but the result of that chance isnt out yet but at least i had gotten another chance! :D hahaha

anyways then i realised what i had gained. many times i felt so insecure.. i will feel lonely even in the most crowded place, then i managed to find some really close friends whom i really grew attached to. But then, in a blink of an eye, they left because they had someplace to go though we still keep in touch.. but still i felt that a hole started to open inside me again. i still had some close friends around me who also care about me, but still a lost can never be replace with a gain - then i thought.

in the moment of my failure, i was reminded that there was something which i received a while back but was never taken away from me. in fact, it was something which grew stronger inside me and the more days i live the more i feel so blessed to have had such a blessing - my family. we may not be so close - not so great in communicating, but still i had felt love even in the silence! many of the unspoken words have always managed to reach my heart and i hope my unspoken words will do the same! (though i am learning hard to say the things my heart really ache to say).

also, now currently i feel so blessed that i may have gain more love from those people i start to really care about (not my family, but i feel so bless about my family too). i may have not said much and may not say a lot in the near future, but one thing for sure is that you guys have earned a spot in my heart :D i hope this is not the beautiful sunset but the beautiful and promising sunrise! :D

anywayz, in short i had not given up, i had not lost all things. in contrast, i am moving on and will keep moving on and i am sure there are many more things that i will gain that i will be thanking about. come to think about it, the greatest blessing of all is that the blessing you receive now is not the last but it is the one before many more ahead. i am very grateful to Him who have never and will never let me down, who have never and will never fail to reach the deepest place inside me- my bestfriend.